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Stupid Computer
I called in sick to work today. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t drag myself out of bed this morning. Too sad and depressed. After texting my manager, I had a hard time falling back asleep but I...
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The Past Few Days
Yesterday, I went into the office but I was soooo depressed. I was at the point where I felt numb and distant and almost like I wasn’t in my own body. I ended up pinning some pictures about...
View ArticleAnother Day
It’s Sunday today. Not much really happened today. I am dog sitting Tobey until tomorrow evening. I took him for a short walk today. I had to cut the walk short because it was raining and he’s a...
View ArticleOh, Diary!
Lord, let me start this by thanking you for today. Everything that happened was so unexpected and so helpful in encouraging me and giving me new perspectives on life and death and I’m in awe. All I...
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Blast From the Past
Today was not as great as yesterday was, but it was still ok. Dave (from CGI) IM’ed me this morning and we chatted a little throughout the day. He said that he wanted to go out to dinner with me and...
View ArticleOuch :(
So, yesterday, after praying for guidance and talking with my friend John, I decided to just tell Dennis how I felt and that I was open to getting back together again if he could be ok with just maybes...
View ArticleWow
Yesterday I got hit with something I never expected from Dennis. He texted me last night and see outright that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me. I was so blown away, I couldn’t believe he...
View ArticleThis Week
So, Sunday was a difficult day and I ended up crying all night and into Monday morning. By the time it was time to get up for work, I was too tired and headachey from crying so much so I called out...
View ArticleGod is Amazing!
Yesterday I wrote in my journal to God that I wanted to feel His love for me beyond just an intellectual knowledge. I wanted to FEEL it. And today, I felt it. Unexpectedly, in the middle of the day...
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It’s like this.
Dennis I miss you. I miss you baby. Come back and hold me again. I want to feel your strong arms around me again. I want to smell your neck again and cry on your shoulder. Can we have one last...
View ArticleEmpty Emptiness
Having a really bad day. Feeling so hopeless and empty and… absolutely completely hopeless. There IS no hope. Nothing works to fix this depression. I wish I never existed. I keep asking God to...
View ArticleMy Dating Life at This Present Moment
I missed Dennis a lot last night. It was hard to fall asleep because I couldn’t stop thinking of him. Random memories of things we did together kept popping in my head – it felt out of my control. I...
View ArticleIt was a day
I went to a new allergist for the first time today. I liked him right away. He seemed genuine and honest and enthusiastic. He didn’t downplay the costs of getting allergy shots and creating the...
View ArticleHappy Friday
Today started off a bit rough. I felt down and frustrated and depressed and lonely this morning. I had a date sort of planned with Mike this evening, but the event we were going to go to was from...
View ArticleI guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I woke up a little late so I was rushing to work and people kept pulling out in front of me on the road which just enraged me. Helped my coworker...
View ArticleI want love again :(
I want love again, diary. I want to love someone and be loved in return. I want that happy feeling again. I’ve had 2 shots of rum so I’m slighhhhtly buzzed. And it feels good. I don’t feel happy or...
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Mood Boost
Yesterday I met up with Drew for lunch and then we hung out at the mall talking for a few more hours. It was REALLY helpful. He and I have such good, deep conversations and it just felt so good. And...
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Crazy Day at Work
It was a crazy day at work. Which is very rare! lol The end of UAT is tomorrow and I ended up finding a bunch of bugs with one of our projects so that got some people riled up and anxious. But, they...
View ArticleThe Past Few Days
So, I got sick with a cold over the past weekend. Saturday and Sunday were pretty much ruined because of that. Saturday was Penny’s birthday party, but I had to tell Brian I couldn’t make it because...
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I Think I Stood Someone Up Tonight
I was exchanging messages for a few days with someone on CDFF and I mistakenly gave him my number. He started calling and being annoying, not giving me space and being too demanding of my time. Then...
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