I was exchanging messages for a few days with someone on CDFF and I mistakenly gave him my number. He started calling and being annoying, not giving me space and being too demanding of my time. Then Monday of this week he texted me at 6am which woke me up before my alarm went off and I couldn’t get back to sleep because I was so irritated with him. That was the last straw, so I stopped responding to him and blocked his calls and texts. But, unfortunately, before Monday we had made plans to meet for dinner tonight. So even though I didn’t respond to him the past two days, I think he still went to the restaurant because I got two VMs and a message on CDFF right around 7:30, the time we agreed to meet. I feel bad, but why would he still go to the restaurant if I haven’t responded to his calls and texts since Sunday? Smh I don’t know 
For some reason, my curiosity about what Alain was up to lately got the best of me tonight and I FB’ed him. There weren’t any new updates since 2014. No new pictures that I have access to as someone who isn’t his friend. Oh well. At least it didn’t make me too sad and I didn’t even come close to crying 
I guess I was just wondering if he’s with someone. From the few posts I did see about him, it seems like he’s someone completely different than the person I knew. I wonder if that’s really who he is, or if he was just pretending to be that person to fit in with those guys. Oh well… I guess it’s none of my business and not my problem anymore…. And yet….
I guess it’s just because I’m lonely that I even spend time thinking about it. And I guess it’s easier to think about Alain than Dennis.
I’m trying to really believe and focus on the fact that this life is really short and the pains and sufferings in it are only going to last a little while before a perfect eternity begins. But, when you’re in the moment and you’re hurting, eternity seems so far away. I know someday none of this will matter anymore, but that’s not easy to believe when the sadness is standing right in front of you, staring you down.
It’s my Dad’s birthday this weekend. He’s coming down to spend the weekend with me. I got him a gift and a cake. I hope he likes them