So, yesterday, after praying for guidance and talking with my friend John, I decided to just tell Dennis how I felt and that I was open to getting back together again if he could be ok with just maybes when it comes to children in our future. He responded but not very positively. He basically said he loved me and thought our relationship started out great but ended poorly. He said he never felt like we had the kind of relationship where we’d do anything for the other person and that we should have been farther along in the relationship when we broke up. He also said he wasn’t ok with maybes. So, I don’t know… that just seems like he’s not that into it. Or that he has too many reservations about me.
It sucked. I responded to him and said that he could take time to think about it, but I didn’t want to be the only one who wanted to try again. And that it sucked that I said that I wanted to try again and he came back with more reasons not to than reasons to try again. I feel awful and stupid and rejected (again) and dejected and alone again. I thought he loved me, but I guess not enough to get past those things. And he never responded to my last 4 texts. He could at least say “ok” or “let me think about this and i’ll get back to you”. But no, nothing. Why text me and tell me that he misses me and that he keeps rereading my emails and letters and that it felt so good to hear how much I loved him and how I felt about him….if he didn’t want to revisit us?
What is so wrong with me that nobody wants me?
Not sure how to deal with all this. Feeling kind of numb again… And in a fog.