Today started off a bit rough. I felt down and frustrated and depressed and lonely this morning. I had a date sort of planned with Mike this evening, but the event we were going to go to was from 6-8pm and I couldn’t make it into DC before 8pm so we cancelled. I asked Mike if he wanted to do something else tonight instead but he didn’t respond for like 7 hours, so I just ran some errands after work and got McDonalds for dinner lol. I was actually relieved when we had to cancel. I know I have to break it off with him, but I just can’t figure out a nice way of telling him and a way to tell him that would make sense to him. I kind of wish he would lose interest in me and stop texting me and that the situation would just take care of itself that way lol. I’m such a wimp.
Other than that, I just worked from home as I normally do on Fridays. I am reading 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferriss. I am really inspired and excited about it. It’s not just helping me learn more about losing weight, but it’s also helping me to understand how to achieve goals by measuring and tracking everything. It also is helping me understand that goals must be specific and quantitative so that they can be tracked and therefore more easily achieved. It is ALSO helping me understand that doing something towards your goal, even a small amount, is better than nothing! So, it has made me feel like maybe more of my life could be in my control. Maybe I could have goals…… and actually achieve them! Because I think I have always been too afraid to make goals because I couldn’t even fathom achieving anything. But, doing things the way Tim Ferriss explains – by small, incremental, realistic changes everyday – seems like something even I could achieve.
So, in lieu of this 4HB book, I have begun taking photos of everything I eat which is supposed to help me make better choices in the long run. Admittedly, I didn’t eat very well today. I actually ate TWO dinners lol. Linguine and McDonalds. I’m not proud of that, but I’m not ashamed of it either. It’s my first day. So what!? I am also going to begin recording my weight everyday because apparently just becoming more aware of your weight will help you unconsciously start making better choices to get to your goal weight.